Meet You Where You're At

As I kneeled on the platform one by one the hands of my friends and family touched my shoulders as my pastor prayed for me. A million things were going through my head during my missionary dedication that took place at the Garden Grove SDA church almost two years ago. I was about to embark on spiritual journey.

One thought was how will my spiritual journey in Saipan change me? I knew that change was inevitable but I wasn't sure exactly how I would change. As silly as this sounds I was scared God was going to turn me into one of those REALLY religious followers. Some people refer to them as the "bible thumpers". I really dreaded that thought. For those of you who really know me, know that I'm more spiritual than religious. I simply just wanted to follow God. And I wanted to dedicate the years that I'd spend here to learn more about Him and to share with others what He has done in my life.

First off, I had this idea that missionaries had unshakable faith. I also thought missionaries always came back home stronger in their faith after serving time in the mission field. I have learned that being a missionary doesn't make you any less susceptible to experiencing weak moments and doubts. There was a point when I even questioned the existence of God and the existence of organized religion.

My spiritual experience in Saipan has been the hardest point in my life. It has challenged me to think about what It is I actually believe not just what I was taught all of my life.

Though I struggle with my spiritual daily walk I know that no matter what phase I am in my walk . . He will always meet me where I am at.

Exposed

Imagine living in a bubble where the majority of people you knew were just like you. You went to the same church every Saturday morning. You attended the same private school and university for all of your life. The majority of your family and friends were of the same faith. You believed and hoped in the same things. You think the way you are and the way you live is the norm or the standard. Most of all, you think that the way you live your life is the only right way to live. This bubble is all I have ever known.

Leaving the Seventh-day Adventist bubble back home and coming out to Saipan has been a real eye opening experience for me. Exposure to the many different cultures and religions is making me realize how REALLY different I am. I had the chance to share my faith with other people of different beliefs throughout this past year. I'm embarassed to admit that I was judgemental. . . I thought the things they believed in were crazy and wrong. But then I realized that they probably think that I am crazy in the things I believe in as well. I can be so foolish sometimes. I'm starting to realize that Christianity has been getting a bad wrap. It's fascinating though to hear perspectives about life and God from a Buddhist, Atheist, Catholic, Latter-day Saint, Muslim and others.

My spiritual experience out here has been mind blowing and humbling. I feel my beliefs evolving and growing into something greater than I ever imagined. Living abroad is teaching me to embrace and love the differences I have with others.

My One-Year Anniversary In Saipan

Break ups can actually be good for you. Once you get over the initial nausea and heartache, breakups actually force you to reevaluate everything in your life. Some people react by cutting their hair, joining a gym to get back in shape, changing the focus of their career, or even relocating to a new area. I think its pretty much safe to say that I ended up doing all of that.

I can’t believe that I’ve been out here for a year. Its all kind of a blur to me since my first year flew by so fast. I remember arriving at 1:20 in the morning a year ago not knowing who was picking me up and where I was going to stay. I was kind of scared but excited at the same time.

Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think I’d ever end up in Saipan. I was living the Orange County lifestyle before I moved out here. My dream apartment was only ten minutes from Laguna Beach. I had the perfect job at a Periodontal and Implant Dental office. I had my family and friends close by. Somehow the busyness of life in Southern California comforted me. But making good money, having all the material things, and job security didn’t satisfy me. My heart was longing for something more.

When I made the decision to leave the states to do dental mission work, I applied at different SDA Dental Clinics all over the world like in Thailand, Japan, Philippines, and Guam. Saipan wasn’t even a thought. In fact, I never really heard about Saipan until my Dental Hygiene instructor brought up a job opening to me. The first person I heard back from was Dr. Ken Pierson. When Dr. Ken Pierson initially offered me the job at the Saipan SDA Clinic it was for a two-year contract. I declined and said I would only come out for a year. I didn’t think I could last being away from my family for that long. I wasn’t willing to give up more than a year of my life.

Funny how much you grow and change when you are away from everything that is comfortable and familiar to you. In the past year I have realized what a blessing it is in following God’s path instead of forcing my own path. His plans were far better than anything I could ever imagine. When I look back I realize that God really opened doors for me to be here. He’s so real in my life. I think He just knew that this was what I needed to bring me closer to Him.

I’ve decided I need a theme for this year. Matthew 14:22-32 was the bible verse that helped me make the decision to leave everything behind and to follow God. It’s the verse when Jesus met his disciples that were in a boat on a lake during a storm. Peter walked onto the water to meet Jesus. The story tells of the strengths and weakness of Peter’s faith. His faith and trust in Jesus allowed him to walk on water! I know that Peter eventually began to sink when he took his eyes off of Jesus but can you imagine really walking on water? I believe that having faith alone is not enough. That exercising your faith is what really counts. That’s the kind of faith I am striving for this year.

So even though I could have gone back after this year I decided to stay. Honestly I don't know why God wants me to stay another year. I just know in my heart that He wants me here. I Just need to stop trying to understand things and just trust Him no matter what. Never again would I compromise Him for anybody or anything.

So here I go with another year in Saipan. I’m so happy to be here.